Total Recall is just a vehicle for Colin Farrels eyebrows. Seriously, they do some really spot on acting here. I guess it must be difficult, if a director says “look Colin, what I need you to do here is act like you are remembering something from really deep in your brain, something so deeply embedded you had forgotten you even knew it” what do you do? Well Colins eyebrows wriggle around like a couple of furry catapillars and convey just the right amount of confusion mixed with … no its just confusion. This half remake half make up new stuff film is a massive cgi feast for the eyes. The plot is actually more nonsense than the original, which is impressive, but at least in the original there was some sense as to why the whole thing was happening, here there is some “political opression” plot device which seems to manifest in Australia becoming China Town and Britain becoming Little New York. Needless to say i was hardly watching for the storyline, you’ll be pleased to know that whilst I spent a lot of time telling everyone the orignal was sexist this one comes up trumps with the three boobed lady, gets it out of the way right at the start as well, as if they knew the internet would hate on them if they didnt include that little nugget of fourteen year old pleasing dumbness. This doesnt have the heart that the original did, that is, it doesnt have Arnie doing weird things with his face and saying things which crack me up all over the shop, but its not a bad movie, and props for not dumbing it down too much – we can still wonder which side made the memories. So spoilers, this ends with Farrel in a knife fight with Malcolm in the middles dad, which is ridiculous. I know he is all badass in Breaking Bad, but this was just silly, at least when Farrel was fighting a big robot thing it made me a little worried for his personal safety, but Malcolms dad? Come on.