Race to Witch Mountain

There are no witches in this film. This means in comparison to Harry Potter it is crap. There are aliens in it. But they look like normal kids mostly, and one bad one looks like predator, which is cool. This does mean though that in comparison to both any movie with aliens in, and predator, its crap. It has the Rock in it. Who now we have to refer to by his real name because he is a real actor and all that, but his name escapes me, so he shall remain the rock. At no point does he ask if anyone can smell what he is cooking, or say ‘It doesnt matter what your opinion is!”, even though it would have worked quite nicely at a couple of points. This is a disney movie, they dont go in for post modern shit like that. Unfortunately this means its crap. Its entertaining enough though, it bubbles along nicely, and if you can deal with the conceit of the two alien kids having super powers, but for some reason requiring the rock to drive them around in his crap taxi its not even that stupid. The best part is that it has a dog called junkyard, which I would totally call my dog except it would mean I’d have to tell people it was named after a dog in a disney movie. Compared with say, Lassie, Junkyard is a really cool name though. There you have it, a film which is crap in almost every respect aside from it having a dog called junkyard in it.