Happy New Year to you! efihr.com has been a little neglected over the holiday season because I have been off adventuring and swashbuckling etc, but rather than bring in the new year with an everyday post about films I watched on planes (I’ll get to them in time) I thought to myself ‘what better way to celebrate the year that was twenty thirteen than a run down of the thirteen best films of twenty thirteen, all reviewed in thirteen words?’ The answer is of course that there are many far better ways than this, but none will use the number thirteen quite so many times. Really I know that half the point of lists like this is to spark debate, or a least earn a ‘but I thought that film was a peice of crap’, so I was half tempted to avoid all this by doing a list of the worst films of 2013. When it came down to it though I realised that I like watching the crap ones as much as the good ones so this just comes with a disclaimer – its my list – gravity isnt on it because I have not seen it, Frozen isnt because too many people sung in it, the second Hobbit isnt for the same reason, even though they didn’t sing in this one I have still not forgiven them for the first one. Also it contains as many spoilers as thirteen word reviews can have.

1. Rush – Heart warming, heart wrenching, fast cars and guys I’d consider going gay for.

2. Mud – Heart warming, heart wrenching, some fannying around on boats in trees. 

3. Stoker – Looks very good, cold blooded killers will throw red herrings in your face

4. Blackfish – Says putting people water with animals with ‘killer’ in their names is irresponsible.

5. Iron Man 3 – Cant remember plot, just loads of cool Iron Man stuff happens, really cool

6.Warm Bodies – Zombie film with heart, illogical zombie love occurs, makes point about modern society

7. Thor – The Dark World – Makes absolutely no sense, but looks pretty and Thor is a total G

8. Anchorman 2 – Worth the wait, brilliant ending, laughter with a good dose of in jokes

9. Man of Steel – Superhero destroys cities as people of earth watch, has ghost to explain everything

10. Django Unchained – Tarantino does what he has always done, this time it had a plot.

11. Evil Dead – Blood, Blood, Blood, Blood, Blood, Blood, Enchanted Book, Blood, Blood, Blood, Blood, Blood.

12. The Act of Killing – truly disturbing and powerful documentary about horrific acts, made unique by its approach

13. Movie 43 – Watch the ‘other’ version, its better, some bits were off, but mostly funny

There it is, my thirteen picks in thirteen words. Not the most rounded list I will agree, not significantly multicultural and there is a definite overload of superhero movies but in making my list three films longer than every one elses I had room – plus superheroes are awesome.

Normal service will be resumed just as soon as I have watched “Tokio Gore Police”.