Pitch: “So there is the Russians, the Chinese and the cops, and they all are fighting like huge gun battles against each other and some fist fights and car chases and a bit with a train…!” “Well that does sound pretty exciting, who wins?” “none of them, basically the staith is against them all and totally kicks all their asses” “Oh the staith eh, you didnt mention him, so the Russians and Chinese are going to be really excessive stereotypes, and the cops will be from new york?” “Oh yeah they will of course be stereotypes! Except for the Staith, he will have a bad American accent that he sometimes forgets to do” “This is sounding pretty brilliant, people love it when he does those awesome one liners, can he say something like “its a nice drive…if you like trees and shit?”” “Yes of course, why wouldnt he say that…” “So what is tying this all together, he has some drugs or money or something that the bad guys want?” “Well, this is the good bit, its a little girl who has like an amazing ability to remember numbers, and is really good at maths, and basically she knows this information that they all want, and the Staith, for no real reason will decide to protect her, we’ll give him some sort of back story to explain why he has all these badass skills, and if anything gets a little hard to believe we can just write in another character or two to explain things as well, we could just do that as we go along…” ….pause…. “Green light this right away, get the first page of the script over to me as soon as possible, remember our target audience, make sure everyone states what is happening on screen all the time and dont worry too much about the whole thing, we can make it up as we go along”
No one seeks out Staith films to be intellectually stimulated, and I think they are all the better for them, this is a particularly prime example of a really random excuse for some shit to get fucked up! Its entirely unbelieveable, ridiculous and stupid, but that is precisely what makes it AWESOME… oh and those one liners help.