This film, which if you hadn’t heard of it, is about nazis hiding out on the dark side of the moon since WWII, and is a burning satire of U.S foreign policy. Ok…thats pushing it, but its very good fun and is significantly less predictable than a lot of similarly themed films, and yes there are similarly themed films. The tone is set from the outset when a womans clothes all fall off when she is sucked out of an airlock. The film continues at this level of silliness throughout to a climax that is so silly that it becomes brilliant.
What a let down, if I had wanted giant blue guys I would have watched watchmen, or the smurfs.
This would be a much better film if it was that guy who ate mcdonalds for like a year or whatever just putting cool creamy philadelphia on crackers for an hour and a half. The main character of this film is a macho eighties hero type (despite ostensibly being from the 40`s) and as such has brilliantly large hair and smokes non stop. I forgot that smoking used to be cool till I watched this film. Watch it for:- amazing disappearing porsch, random prison cross dresser, the main character looking like he is getting a hand job when ever he is given a hug, lung cancer inducing levels of smoking.
Do not watch for:- amazing trippy worm hole thing which is literally just bits of the final scene of 2001 a space odessey, a lead woman who is an affront to feminists everywhere…and non feminists…basically everyone…this film is sexist, the fact that a tweed trilby gives away the entire already ridiculously predicable plot. The pros outweigh the cons, only because they are funnier, sexism ain’t funny guys.
Its pretty unusual for me to even look at a dvd when I put it in the player, so the fact that I even noticed the scratch on this one shows how big it was, none the less I gave it a try. Low and behold, I missed a whole scene, turns out, it was the scene where joans mother/parent or gaurdian gets raped/stabbed, so really not the worst scene to miss. However this scene might be integral to why joan turns into such a nutcase!! A nutcase who is useful to the French army, but a nutcase none the less. Anyway, despite potentially formative yet terrible scenes which I could not see due to scratches this is a brilliant film, it has little snippets of everything, even a guys head getting knocked off with balls…well…a ball…watch and see, balls sounds better…and before you think that i cant make a formative judgement because I missed a bit – guys head knocked off scene= badass, rape/stabbing scene = not at all badass.
I quite often rent low budget horror movies with a sort of “well it might be a hidden gem” attitude, the thinking being that horror is probably one of the easier genres to work with on a budget, however renting a low budget horror comedy is usually (i say usually…there are not a significant number of these around, at least intentional ones) a more dangerous bet. However this movie is pretty great, it has one of the most RIDICULOUS hook ups every conceived, but that is why its brilliant, if it chickened out on its promises and took itself seriously it wouldnt be any fun at all. Its got chain saws, bone crackings, axes and all sorts, none of this is genuinely (read remotely) scary, but the splatter is done very well and there are a couple of twists aside from the blindingly obvious one … you know the one thats in the title … and on the back of the dvd case … This film asks some big questions about the tendency in the society in which we live towards sterotyping, then ignores them in favour of death by saw mill equipment … which is why I like it.
I desparately want to hate this film, I really do, I want to just say things like “its been done so much better before”, but this movie tricked me into liking it, Jack Black playing himself as he usually does works so well in this context and the kids are all infinitely believeable. This movie makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside just like it is supposed to, and though you know the story before you even look at the back of the dvd case when it all comes good at the end you’ll still smile. Unless you are a heartless bastard. In fact, they should show this film to assasins, if they smile at the end they are not yet ready, if they remain stoney faced they can be unleashed upon the world to commit atrocities only people who did not smile at School of Rock can comprehend …
Pitch: “So there is the Russians, the Chinese and the cops, and they all are fighting like huge gun battles against each other and some fist fights and car chases and a bit with a train…!” “Well that does sound pretty exciting, who wins?” “none of them, basically the staith is against them all and totally kicks all their asses” “Oh the staith eh, you didnt mention him, so the Russians and Chinese are going to be really excessive stereotypes, and the cops will be from new york?” “Oh yeah they will of course be stereotypes! Except for the Staith, he will have a bad American accent that he sometimes forgets to do” “This is sounding pretty brilliant, people love it when he does those awesome one liners, can he say something like “its a nice drive…if you like trees and shit?”” “Yes of course, why wouldnt he say that…” “So what is tying this all together, he has some drugs or money or something that the bad guys want?” “Well, this is the good bit, its a little girl who has like an amazing ability to remember numbers, and is really good at maths, and basically she knows this information that they all want, and the Staith, for no real reason will decide to protect her, we’ll give him some sort of back story to explain why he has all these badass skills, and if anything gets a little hard to believe we can just write in another character or two to explain things as well, we could just do that as we go along…” ….pause…. “Green light this right away, get the first page of the script over to me as soon as possible, remember our target audience, make sure everyone states what is happening on screen all the time and dont worry too much about the whole thing, we can make it up as we go along”
No one seeks out Staith films to be intellectually stimulated, and I think they are all the better for them, this is a particularly prime example of a really random excuse for some shit to get fucked up! Its entirely unbelieveable, ridiculous and stupid, but that is precisely what makes it AWESOME… oh and those one liners help.
Though everyone knows there are Shakespeare plays other than Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet and Othello all but English literature students and … well … that is it really just english literature students, they are the only people who even know what they are about! So, with the aim of joining that elite squad of people who could talk about the more obscure Shakespeare plays I rented Coriolanus. Well, what can I say, it had guns in it and wasnt awful! Now good old Romeo & Juliet, the Baz version was pretty good right, just because the soundtrack was good and yes…you guessed it… it had guns in it! Well Coriolanus was like that, but because the storyline revolves around actual war they dont have to pretend their guns are called silly things like “The Sabre” and whatnot. Voldemort is at his best here, demonstrating that he can be a bad guy even without half his nose missing, and in excellent tragic style the whole thing ends with everyone bailing out just desserts! I liked this film so much I actually bought the play in book format. Those things with pages that you have to read, if you need any more persuading did I mention that there are lots of guns in it…
The reason I think this film is funnier than Bruno, and Bruno funnier than Borat is that each relies less than the one before on making real people uncomfortable. Im not entirely against the sort of comedy Borat employed as some sort of social commentary about the treatement of people from other cultures, but it never really aspired to or acheived those heady heights. So here, and better for it, we have a film which makes fun of dictators, which most people will agree is a legitimate target (it also mocks independent health food stores and those who work in them, beware if you are either a dictator or health food store worker, you might be offended, the amount depends on which category you fall into, health food store dictators will hate it) Some parts are genuinely funny, and the main character is pretty likeable after a while mostly because he has some organisational talents and is rather lonely, more a victim of circumstance than a genuinely bad person. After all I think there is some truth in the assertion that nuclear missiles should be pointy rather than rounded, after all their primary purpose is to look badass and scare the crap out of everyone.
If there is one thing hollywood does well it is making films where there is barely a second where something isnt happening, which makes watching a film like Las Acacias an even more exciting experience … well as exciting an experience as watching a film where literally nothing happens can be. I did nearly fall asleep near the start, just when I was thinking how brave it was of the director to have waited so long before anyone said anything to each other, and wondering what the script looked like at this point, but this film draws you in, though very little is said you cant help but identify with the characters and although you know that the stony faced truck driver will eventually warm to his passengers (after all if he didnt it wouldn’t be a very good film at all) the little moments which lead to this are all part of the journey. This film was a little like that David Lynch disney film (yes it exists) The Straight Story in that its all about the journey rather than even something remotely interesting as a pay off at the destination. Because the whole film hinges on just one journey I cant really say much more without ruining it, and dont take my insistence that nothing happens to mean that you shouldnt watch this film, you really should, even if just for the baby, who the film makers have somehow trained to do cute things on demand!